It’s been just over two years now yet it feels like a century. Battling through the rough conditions and things aren’t getting any easier. I still haven’t slept a full night since the event. It was the most horrific event in my life and that is why I’ve decided to help as many people as possible here at the hospital. We haven’t had an air drop in months but we must work and be happy with what we have. It’s terrible seeing the children in agony and I am trying to make them as comfortable as possible before they get sent to ‘The Zoo’. I am told it is what is best for them but I know once someone gets sent to The Zoo, they don’t come out.
It’s said to be a place where the forward thinking doctors are looking for a cure but I don’t think that’s true. I try delve deeper but any time I get close, the head of security is on my tail and I cannot let him find out what I’m doing.
They have also started taking inventory which is very bad. I think they might know that I am the one giving medicine to dying people beyond the walls.
Every day, I’m sent beyond the wall to find the recently infected and then ‘cure’ them, which is now another word for ‘amputate’ whatever is infected. Then they must go through vigorous screening before being let in to the hospital. Who deemed us fit to say who gets to live or die?
There has still been no cure for the infected and no one has survived the disease, yet we must act as a beacon of hope for the dying.
Nothing has changed here. The walls are remaining closed today and tomorrow at least, as we have become aware of a purge at the wall. It’s getting harder and harder to hide my truth. Last night I had the dream once again. This ‘thing’ that happened will scar me forever. My mother, God bless her, being brought, not brought – taken to the ‘zoo’. I promised them she wasn’t infected but they wouldn’t listen. They pinned me down and held me at knife point while they took her. The image. Her kicking and screeching, trying to break free, tears streaming down her face as they cut a jagged line down her arm. Then they poked and prodded at her. I still have the scar on my neck from my struggle.
She was sick, but it was a common cold which was worsened by the lack of food yet they still took her. She was my rock. She is my rock. I vowed to find her at any cost. In the meantime, I am just continuing my mother’s role helping those who need it. It’s my duty now that she is gone. I made a promise.
People have began to see through the quiet facade. Or, is it just my paranoia mixed with sleep deprivation? Either way, I must be even more cautious. This morning I woke up with even more bruises. My bunkmates at the hospital try to wake me from my night terrors by doing anything they can think of. Obviously last night was particularly bad.
Today is a good day as the air drop from Saggart has arrived with what little they have to give us. The engineer must have arrived safely to Saggart to fix the helicopter. We also received word that the walls will open again tomorrow. The zombie surge headed east around the wall for another way in which will give us enough time. I must check up on the family I have helped. I promised them more supplies for their dying son. I just hope it’s not too late.
“Help! Wait! Stop!” I shout but I know it’s futile. They won’t go near the wall again until sunrise, and now I am stuck out here with nothing. I went further then I ever should have gone. But, I could hear the screams – they sounded just like hers. I had to help. Next thing I know, I’m helping middle-aged women lying on the floor. Her family had tried to amputate her but did it incorrectly. I tried to do as much as I could to correct their wrongs. I ripped most of my t-shirt, it was the cleanest thing I had to stop the bleeding. Anyways, now I am sitting against the wall, covered in a dead woman’s blood with half of my t-shirt ripped and a clash down my face from a widow’s rage.
Somehow I managed to survive the night. I don’t know how but all I know is I’m alive. Only just. But now, I am lost. I tried to stay close to the wall but another purge of zombies appeared from the darkness so I had to run.
Derelict house after derelict house, with families surviving on whatever they can, I realise a lot about myself and how I have played the game. But now, the houses get darker to mirror the atmosphere. I have seen less and less people but anyone I do see says something about a camp. They don’t know what it is but they assume it’s a military base as trucks upon trucks enter and leave everyday. They have tole me of the noises they have heard and how no one has dared to go near it as the houses surrounding it have been burnt to a crisp along with anyone living there. We hear rumours from inside the wall but the secrets on this side are far more valuable.
My suspicions were correct. It was ‘the zoo’ and I now see what they have done. What a monster I have been! I have been played as a pawn in their little game. Enjoying playing with our lives, telling us what they want. Moving whatever they want one space forward as a sacrifice to protect their king. As I sneaked into the facility, I wasn’t prepared for what I saw. The infected have all been kept here and used in whatever twisted way possible. Some have been dismembered, others sit nearly unconscious, tied to wooden chair in rows, bruised, beaten and cut. Then there was the pile of dead bodies which I can only describe as completely inhumane. They were never treating them, but they were using them as resources and those who they deemed unfit weren’t needed anymore.
Next I see her and she sees me. I’ve seen her picture on the posters during the ‘Peoples Army Coup’. As I walk towards her, I utter two words, “Check mate” and I did it. The only justice she deserved and then I dumped her body in the pile and set it alight.