The hand strokes by

But the time is a lie

I’ve seen, seen, seen

And life is a breeze

The last drop has dropped

My cup has stopped

I’m on my knees

One more I say please

Refill my cup

It’s not enough

The heart needs more

The core of my life

Can no longer suffice




I can see it still as clear as day

It was our regular morning walk

But we barely made out when I saw where it lay

On the side of the road.

The bird had been knocked down but it was still alive

I know it was dying before I was told

But the thought of its family finding him cold and alone

Was too much for me to bear.

So we went back inside and came out with two bowls

One of food one of water, to ease his family’s pain.

But we never saw those bowls again.




I don’t want to finish school because

I feel like I will leave a part of myself behind.

I don’t talk to or get on with a lot of people in my year

But I will miss them.

I think that once I finish school I will not see a lot of them again.

People that I have a love/hate for won’t think of me again.

Then college

Then job.

Then marriage.

Then work and work and more work.

Then what?


Ingrid Duggan


“But you’re smart” are the words which anger me the most.

Putting all your time and effort into schoolwork and then being told you don’t even have to try.

I’ll admit, sometimes it makes me want to cry.

Constantly being told by parents and teachers to do the best

and then feeling worthless, ashamed if I do anything less.

Feeling forced to do law or medicine ‘cause I may have the brains,

But knowing deep down that’s not what I want at the end of the day.




I love the garden

The place where a hardened

mind can soften.

Your words can flow

free from judgement

And show you comfort unspoken

by those who set their lives in stone.

Where trees and flowers are always grown

And all your deep thoughts are shown

to those who stand tall with no ears

Yet have the wisdom of many years

The garden is the place I wish to go when I die

And return to the land

Where I used to lie.




How can you judge them?

Have you ever been in their position?

Do you even know their intentions?

Their priorities are different to yours

And yet you continue to judge.

You giggle and laugh, but is it genuine?

How is it that you are better than them.




Another time, another case

Another family gone

I know it wasn’t my fault

Or was it?

Outside influences determine

The fate

Of our lives

We are innocent.




Family and friends

The source of my happiness

Each memory, joke, laughing fit, making it all worthwhile.

Through good and bad, tears of laughter and sadness.

My comfort blanket.

Almost like a part of me

They feel my sorrow, I feel theirs,

Like a ripple through the ocean.




I worry too much.

Worry about the people and the challenges I’ll meet.

I worry how family really feels about me.

If I died this second would you think about me?




I feel like I love something

But it’s out of my reach.

Sometimes it brushes my fingertips

Or nudges my shoulder

But I can’t quite grasp it.


When I catch it though

I don’t think I’ll ever let go.

I’ll tuck it deep inside

Until after someone lies.

Then forever I’ll hide.




Sunday evening my parent call saying we have to go

I groan and reluctantly part from her, kissing her goodbye

And load my books into the car to set on my journey, South.

Throughout the week I miss her, I spend my time waiting on her texts.

I am told it is an opportunity yet

It feels like a punishment.

The week drags by and Friday arrives.

I fill  my bags as if to never return.

And rush home to see her again, she is the only reason for the weekend.



Whirlwind of thoughts, dancing around,

Struggling to keep both feet on the ground

So much to say, nothing comes out.

A quiet blank canvas that’s

Ready to shout.

Some may say boring,

They would be wrong, perhaps this place is not

Where I belong.

The motions around me are fogged (not finished)



I used to believe in fairies

What they looked like I can’t remember

But what I recall is that they sat with me

Their voices reassuring and making

the little things that bothered me seem small.

But when the bigger things appeared

The feelings of inadequacy and fear

That I couldn’t face alone.

I looked for comfort

and the voices were gone.




There is a weight atop my mind

And it’s slipping down my shoulders

It ties me up at my wrists

And holds me still.


Still as the storm inside my body

trickles rain down my cheeks and

falls upon the ground that I stood on.


The ground that I’m stuck to.

The ground I wish would open

up and knock me six feet



Where finally I am free,

And for the first time

I feel nothing, nothing but the

weight that still resides in me


Holding me down, pressing

until I close my eyes.

And suddenly

I am nothing.




I look around and everyday I see girls with sad eyes

Longing for what they can’t have

For what they’ll never be

People like you,

People like me.

Don’t try, we are all the same.

Images around us telling us

How to we must look and how we must live

I hate it.




I am indebted to

Some higher power

For my life

And those talents

Society demands are used.


There is a price to be paid

In this exchange without consent

For those apparent “abilities” which

Have no effect on me.


The cruelty of the price

Lies not in sorrow or isolation

But the fact

It is the greatest gift.





To keep you speechless

Fills me with calmness

To open my heart

And give you my pain

To feel happy again

Is all I ever want.


You don’t know me

Yet I want you to know

Of my memories and thoughts

My feelings, my heart

Should be on a plate

And I want to find you

The one

Who will hold if for me.


And keep the worry away.


Stolen Words



I’m blank

Is it cause my words are lost or stolen

I can’t say fag*** or nig*** or sl** or reta**

But words mightier than a sword or a pen

In our culture embedded

You see what you set out to see

Because racism is subjective

Gender equality is subjective

But your opinion is always wrong

Your words count, your actions don’t.

Feminism is a lie, racism doesn’t exist, LGBTQ is gay.


They scream

But their voices are muffled

Never to reach our ear

Their words, my words stolen, twisted, bended

Murdered for words, offended!




Imagine being a tree

They’re alive like us, right?

But they’re stationary.

They don’t move.

We shouldn’t complain

Life passes around trees while we pass through life.

Live life to its fullest

Make the most of it.





There are so many grains of sand in the sea.

So many stars to light the sky

So many people who try to see

The answer why.

Why is the age old question

Of who we are, without selection

So forward thinking of Gods above

Of living now, of finding love.

Of being who we were before

Of changing through our times of war

In our mind and in our life

Through our struggles and our strife.

The answer is, and please don’t quote

We’re here cause we didn’t build a boat.




Quiet times in my environment

Are the hardest times in my head.

Even till now I don’t regret anything I’ve ever said

Told so many lies, I don’t know how to say the truth.

Tried to tell the truth but it ended up

A lie, because I thought that was the safer thing to do

So many questions that need answers

So many answers I want to question.

Where did we all come from who really knows

Trying to get over my past quickly

But everything still comes back to me slowly

Just because we go to church doesn’t make us holy.

Just because we exchanged a few words

Doesn’t mean you know me.



I talk to much, make to much jokes

Only to hide how I feel inside

People are two-faced, that’s the way life is

Looking over my shoulder, after I confide.

Do people hate me, I can never tell.

I’m no one’s favourite, that I admit.

It would be nice to know, if I’m liked.




The world is as slow as the clever, idiots.

The people that find a way

That cheat the system, find the loophole.

The people that make it necessary

To have these weird rules.

“It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church”

I hate that we are as fast as the slowest camel. But most of all

I hate that I respect these people.

I hate that I want to be one of these people.




Constant comparison

I never knew life with you would be this harrowing.

Wish I was someone else

Different body

Different face

Maybe if we had met in a different place

Different time

You wouldn’t have committed this crime

Tore my heart in two, set it on fire

But after all, maybe

Arson is all just fun to you.




I’m stuck, can’t move

Monster in the room

Can’t see, hear or touch it

It’s a special monster in a bad way

Stuck in your head and can’t get out

Its superhero name is Anxiety

Trying to get it out

But it’s locked away in your mind

With the key in the bottom

of the ocean never to be found.